


the stars above and below

by okayantigone



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 11:42:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13247514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okayantigone/pseuds/okayantigone
Summary: In the dream, Armitage Hux is still alive, burrowing in his greatcoat against the wind."You must have loved me very much," Kylo says."I did," says Hux in the dream."I did," echoes Rey, awake.





	the stars above and below

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes you just gotta ... write some angst

The sunlight is pleasantly warm on his skin, soft and pleasant. He walked out on the deck, feeling the light breeze in his hair, feeling for the first time in so long like the young man he truly is.

Rey studies him, the softness of his mouth, the gentlest curve of his lips in a brief smile, and knows, intimately, that she is looking not at Kylo Ren, but at Ben Solo. Something in her chest tightens up painfully at that knowledge. 

"Always wanted to learn to pilot one of those things," he said conversationally. Even his voice had changed to something sweeter, softer. He made a broad sweeping gesture to one of the X-wings. "Was quite pleased to see I’ve got the talent for it. Would have made my dad real proud if he’d seen." There is troubled look on his face, a shadow passing of something he struggles to grasp. "Always wanted him to be proud of me." 

"He is." Says the man beside him confidently. He looks pale and washed out in the sun, clearly not enjoying the outdoors as much as Ben is, his delicate pale skin unsuited for the warmth. He rests a hand on Ben's shoulder, and Ben smils. 

"You're a good man, Armitage," he says, with warmth and inflection. "You don't have to lie to me." 

It is none of Rey's business. It is all of Rey's business. 

The wind picks up something fierce. 

"It's nice here," Hux says. "I thought I'd never get to see where you grew up."

"It's not much is it? Not the mansions of rkanis, that's for sure." Kylo looked happy when he said it. Like it pleased him. "My mother was a princess, a senator and a general, and she still chose to live here like a commoner with my father..."

He trailed off looking into the distance. 

"Were you happy here?" Hux asked, and his voice was gentle. 

"I must have been," Kylo said, carefully. "I'm sure I must have been. I know I didn't want to leave." That same shadow over his handsome young face. "They made me leave." 

"They loved you," said Hux softly and dispassionately. 

"I must have been very difficult to love." Said Kylo, something awful and defeated in his voice, choked up and painful. 

"You were everything anyone had ever loved," Hux promised softly. "You were the best man I had ever known. I loved you very much." He cupped Ben's face. 

Rey wanted to leave. 

The wind was so strong the platform deck was shaking, the X-wings rattling precariously. It was still a beautiful day.  
"Was it good?" Kylo asked softly, meekly. 

Rey could feel the tears sliding down her cheeks.  Is this what rain felt like?

"Very." Hux reassured. 

"Was I - I never hurt you, did I? I don't remember sometimes. If I hurt people." 

"No," Hux murmured, "no, you never hurt me."

Kylo's smile was brilliant in response.  
   
"Couldn't have lived with myself. If I had. You must have been very good to me."

Rey wondered what to say to that.

"Yes," Hux said. "We were good to each other." 

Kylo turned away to the side, face darkening.  "I'm not --"

Slowly his body folded down to a kneeling position his arm wrapping around his middle, fingers coming away stained with blood. 

Hux kneeled with him, and pulled Kylo's head in his lap, so the other man was folded against him. 

"It was very good," Hux repeated softly. 

Kylo hid his face in Hux's stomach. 

"You never raised your voice at me?" He asked meekly. 

"Never," Hux reassured, petting his hair gently.

"You didn't - you didn't hit me?" 

"No," Hux murmured, "no. I didn't hit you." 

"It must not have been easy," Ben said. 

"You made it easy,". Hux promised. "You were - you were so easy to love. I loved you so much. I was ready to die for you." 

Kylo's smile is soft, pained. "You didn't have to."

"I wanted to." 

Rey can't stop herself from crying, meek soft little noises escaping her. 

"It was good, wasn't it?" Ben asked, seeking some kind of reassurance. "Us, I mean. Me. I was good?"

"You were," Hux said, and his smile was shattered. "You were so good. You were so brave. So kind. You didn't deserve any of it. The raised voices, and the fighting. And being hit. Because you were so good." 

"I'm glad I had you, then," says Ben dreamily. "I must have been very lonely. I'm glad you didn't shout at me, or hit me." 

"I'm glad too." 

Rey wants to scream. She feels the howl bubbling up in her throat.

Hux leans down, kisses Kylo's mouth. He comes back up with his lips bloody. Kylo is breathing softly, hidden against him, and Hux smooths his hands over his back and his wounded side. 

Rey moves her hand rhythmically over Kylo's back. His face is buried in her stomach. His breathing is pained and shallow. She feels him shudder against her. Her face is wet with tears. In her mind's eye Hux is talking to him gently. 

All she has to do is manifest Hux's image, his voice. Kylo's mind, stripped of its defenses, supplies the rest. She doesn't know if those are words Hux has ever said to him, or words he's always wanted to hear. The simplicity of it breaks her heart. 

She keeps the illusion going. It's the last kindness she can give him. He is dying someplace kind and soft and gentle. Someplace that he can think of as home. Someone is holding him and telling him he was good, that he didn't deserve to be hurt. 

Of course, says the Hux she manifested, of course you weren't difficult to love. 

She believes it. He can't have been. Not like this. Maybe it was Leia who found it difficult to love him. Maybe it was Han. She wonders which one of them hit him. Or maybe it was Luke. But not Hux. 

Kylo had gathered up every single good thing he had experienced and placed them all in the empty vessel Rey has conjured for his comfort. The illusion was as good as his death would ever be. 

This wasn't a bad thing, that she was doing.  
   
Around them the first order storm troopers were slowly being overwhelmed by the joint forces of the Resistance and the Republic. 

In her arms Kylo Ren was breathing softly, evenly. She was waiting for him to die. 

"Not much left now," said Hux, not unkindly. 

"Kiss me," said Kylo, then sweetly. "Please."  
Hux kisses him again. 

She could feel the blood seeping between his soft lips soaking into her clothes. The blood from his monstrous wound. 

He had tried to, in the last moments, he had fought. On their side. 

"You will be a hero of the Resistance," Hux murmured gently. "Your mother would be proud." 

Kylo was smiling, tears softly running down his face. 

"You don't have to lie to me. Not you. She will never be proud of me."

"You were a good boy," Hux argued. "You did everything you were told." 

Rey raises her light saber in one hand, clutching his body with the other. 

"You stay away," she warns, voice furious, thick with sobs. "You stay away, and you let me do this for him." 

In her mind's eye Kylo is pressed against Hux's chest. The embrace is gentle. Warm. Hux's chin is resting on top of his head. 

Rey wonders if they ever did that in real life. She cannot imagine the man who bravely marched alone to his own execution, refusing trial and choosing the death penalty like a real soldier – but he did. Maybe that's why Kylo had loved him. An honest man. A good man. A man who hadn't lied to Kylo or raised his voice at him. A man who hadn't hit him.   
Not the man who had killed millions. Not the man that he had watched be executed publically on every screen on every network. 

"You fought for me," Hux says softly, and this time Rey is putting the words there. "You must have loved me very much." 

Kylo lets out an agonizing shuddering breath. "I did." 

Rey feels him slowly still in her arms. Feels him warm and gentle, and soft, easing away. The edges of the dream sequence blur out. She can feel him thinner in the force. 

"I was still too late wasn't I?" 

"No," says Hux, who is slowly fading around the edges. "You were good. You were so brave. You did everything right."

Rey doubles over his body, lets out a shriek, loud and shuddering. 

The dream sequence fades away, as does Kylo's violent formidable presence in the Force. 

"That was very hurtful," says Luke cautiously, still not approaching her, not daring to breach the circle she's created around herself. "You must have loved him very much."   
Rey's words are muffled in Kylo's chest, where his heart doesn't beat anymore. 

"I did."


End file.
